Starting Over Again
by jlpkat100
Summary: Now that Spike is gone, Buffy doesn't know if she will be able to go on with life. Now will her friends be able to help her through the pain and hard times?
1. Is she OK?

**Starting Over Again**

**Plot:** Buffy, the Scooby Gang, and the new Slayers start a new life in a new town doing what they do best. But there are complications now that Spike is gone and it's making Buffy feel alone. Will here friends be able to help her?

**Chapter One: **

As everyone loaded on to the bus, Buffy stayed behind a little longer to grasps the memories and feelings she is leaving behind. Memories racing past her like speeding cars, she cannot help but feel that everything she did was for nothing: being bit by the Master and drowning. Killing Angel to save the world. Not being able to save her friend from going to the dark side, and having to blow up the school gym (again) and more, to defeat a giant snake-like monster who was once the mayor. Dealing with a machine that went bad and had to use the forces of her friends to kill the so-called Adam. Challenging Glory and killing herself to save Dawn and the world. Having to face being brought back from Heaven then facing off one on one with her best friend. And now this, finding potential slayers all over the world and going under the newly built school to stop the forces of darkness (again), and losing the people by her side: Spike, Anya, and a lot of the potential slayers, and it having to end in the town being brought down until it was nothing but dirt. Then there was the one memory that had made her stomach turn just thinking about it, leaving her mother and her grave behind. All of her more favorite memories with her mother was in that house that was now buried in the ground that she could not turn back to and remember the days that made her checks burn with delight.

"Hey B, you ok in there you, look like something is bothering you." Faith came up from behind almost startling Buffy and bringing her out, back into her own world. "Don't tell me something is up, we just defeated all evil that could of sent the whole world to dust."

"No I'm fine, just trying to regroup without all the stress of the new slayers on my back" she replied more worried to her voice than she would have liked.

"Yeah, o.k. just we were getting ready to leave and was sure you wouldn't be so happy with us leaving you behind with nowhere to go." She stated. Faith was sure she knew something was up with Buffy, just couldn't quite read her face to determine what exactly it was. "So are you coming on your own or do I have to drag you on a leash, B?"

With that Buffy turned around and headed back to the bus. Before they headed off in the only direction the road would lead Giles was asking where everyone was planning on starting over again. Some of the people replied to England to start a school for slayers all over the world, while others just kept quite and would just follow where everyone else was going. Finally it was decided that they would go to England and start a school for new slayers, but first they would head for a hospital before some of the people lost to much blood from the battle.

_2 hours later…._

Still on the road and nearing the entrance to L.A. most of the people were asleep since the bleeding had stopped and they could rest a little.

Once they reacted the closest hospital the gang got out and help carried the wounded in, unaware that Buffy was "supposedly" asleep in the back of the bus.

As they waited in the waiting room for results of the wounded, they were all starting to worry.

"So do you guys think B is o.k.?" Faith broke the silence "I mean how long can one girl sleep in the back of the bus?"

"I'll go check on her, I need to go stretch my legs anyways." Xander replied as he got up and head for the entrance.

Stepping on the bus he went back to where Buffy was laying and he began to wake her. "Hey Buffy, you can't just sleep there all day, it must be uncomfortable and hard."

With no response he began to shake her a little more and talk to her a little more, with still no response he began to worry a little more. Finally realizing something he hadn't seen earlier, a dark spot that had formed across her stomach. As he was finally frightened he lifted the shirt up a little more to see what was cause her skirt to become red. There it laid, a pool of blood that had formed over the pit of her stomach. As he began to freak he finally checked her pulse to see if she was still alive. When he felt a very faint pulse he slid his arm under her back and legs so he could lifted her up without causing pain to her wound and making it reopen. As he quickly and carefully got off the bus he couldn't bare to loose another person he loved, one was already too much for him, he began to speed his pace.

Finally a doctor emerged from the doors that lead to most of the patients, he walked over to Willow who sat worried with Kenny and made an effort not to cry as she to was think about the memories. Kenny was the first to notice the doctor and got up to greet him with Willow following right behind her when she realized what caused the sudden break of there embrace, but kept there hands holding quite tightly together.

"Miss Rosenberg, it seems that all of your friends are recovering quite quickly and you will be able to leave with them anytime you and your friends are ready." The doctor announced to her and all her friends that stood beside her.

"Thank you doctor, if you wouldn't mind releasing them now so we can get a move to where we are heading it would be greatly….." Willow started to say before being interrupted by a very loud and panicked Xander.

"HELP, somebody, she's not waking up and I think she lost a lot of blood." Xander yelled as a couple of doctors came running by with the gang slowly closing in on them.

"Xander? What happened? Is she o.k.?" Willow sternly yelled over the doctors that seemed to be ignoring her.

But Xander wasn't and heard her loud and clear. "I don't know Will, I went in there to check on her and she didn't wake up." He replied as he laid her down on the bed that the doctors had brought over to her. "When she didn't respond I found a pool of blood in the middle of her stomach that I panicked and checked her pulse, but there was hardly a beat there, so I rushed her in here."

Now Dawn was on the ground making her own pool, but of tears as she seemed to be uncontrollably mumbling words no one could understand. But the gang had a feeling they knew what she was saying as she almost always did when her sister was badly hurt or even dead, she was upset at the fact that her sister might be leaving her again and she didn't like it.


	2. What Happened Already?

**Chapter 2:**

The doctors now had Buffy put in the emergency room and they said they where doing all that they could, but that doesn't mean they know what's wrong.

As time was passing Buffy friends sat in the waiting room, all except one, Rupert Giles. He told the others that he would go and take the new slayers out to get some fresh air. Most of them were healed or had bandages and were able to walk; well they wouldn't of been out there so soon if not for the slayer healing.

_2 Days later…_

It's been 2 days since Buffy was put in the hospital and the gang had found a nice small hotel that could hold everyone and not cost too much money, and they still haven't heard from the doctors. They told the doctors to call if they found out anything, but they haven't so today the Scooby Gang was going to personally go to the hospital to find out what was wrong.

When they got there they were immediately greeted my one of the doctors.

"Miss Rosenberg, it's nice that you dropped by. We were going to call you, but thought it would be better to tell you in person." The doctor stated. Curious expressions on all of the gangs faces. "It seems that Miss Summers got hit in the stomach pretty badly, but that is not the case, it seems that she has had some troubles and a state of shock put her in this position."

"Will you spit it out already, we are dieing in the lack of just waiting for you to tell us. Say it for crying out loud" Faith busted out.

"FAITH" Willow yelled "Be quite so he can tell us."

The doctor continued, "Right, it seems that Miss Summers is going to have to pull through this on her own if she wants to survive. I'm sorry but she is in coma. You can see her if you like, it helps the patients relax if they hear a familiar voice."

"Thank you doctor" Giles noted right before they all left for Buffy's new room.

When they got there tears filled up in almost everyone of their faces as they looked at their best friend hooked up to tubes and wires.

Thoughts raced through each one of their minds as she looked so peaceful and happy, but they new that wasn't the case. _"a state of shock put her in this position" _they each remembered the doctors words like they were hearing right now.

"Well now we know that I'm not the only one that got put in this position" Faith comments.

Silence was now filling the room as the only thing you could really hear is the little beep that goes off every few seconds and the tiny breaths from each person.

"If Anya was here she would make one of comments to make people laugh, but I guess that's not going to happen now is it?" Dawn remarked just to put some noise in the room. It was tearing her up inside just looking at her sister, she needed to say something.

Just those words about Anya made Xander's stomach churn, although he was not going to mention anything because he knew that Dawn was just trying to lighten up the room.

As nighttime was approaching the doctor told them it was time to go, but Dawn had convinced the doctors to let her stay just cause she wanted to be there for her.

When that others had left Dawn felt weak and just need to touch and talk to her sister. When she toke hold of Buffy's hand her heart raced as she was drowning herself in thoughts of what to say.

"Buffy, I know that you where there for me when the times were bad, but right now I want to be there for you. You helped me when mom died. You saved me from death. You weren't mad at anyone of us for bringing you back, even though you didn't want to be back, you still stood up to it and moved on. You helped me when Tara died, and saved me from Willow. You were with me tell the end, even when I sent you away from the gang, you still came back and saved me. I know that you probably did not want to be around any of us for what we did, but you still stayed. Now I am going to stay with you tell the end, even if that means never getting to hear your voice just because you might not make it through this. However, if I know you, you will fight it and we will be happy again, but just come back and we can forget about all the bad things and start over again. Just please don't go, we need each other." Dawn cried since the beginning. She felt a chill down her spine as she finished. Still the only thing she could hear was the small little beeping sound, and her and her sisters breathe pace through the room. As Dawn's eye lids started to get heavier and heavier she made her way to the longest couch that sat in the room to sleep.

Early next morning Willow and the gang where quietly sitting in the room while waiting for Dawn to awake. When she finally did the others suddenly got to there feet and started to talk,

Willow was the first to comment, "So we thought of a way to find out what is putting Buffy in this situation, we are going to do a spell to go into her mind and talk to her. Sort of like what we did a couple of years ago, but you don't remember because you were held hostage by a psycho god that wanted to end the world of all evil. But this when I cast to spell, I am going to let all of us go in there. Now before we start we would like your approval."

"Yes, anything just as long as she is back, so can we start right away? It's tearing me up." Dawn burst back in a split second.

"Well then, shall we begin?" Willow remarked, they all formed a circle around a candle, and some ingredients, which Willow had brought with her.

"Wait! What are we going to do if a doctor comes in and catches us?" Xander asked quickly.

With that Willow chanted a few words left her mouth. It was a spell to lock the unlock. Suddenly the door was magically locked and no one could enter or leave.

Then, Willow started the spell, wind coming all around them and they were finally asleep, along with Buffy.

When they entered they saw a familiar place, Buffy's old home.


	3. You still have us!

**Chapter 3:**

"What is this place?" Xander asked "I thought it got destroyed?"

"It did," replied Willow "Just not in Buffy's mind."

"Oh, O.K, so where is she?" Xander asked another question.

"Well she has to be here, otherwise it would of lead us to a different place." Willow replied again.

Then they started to wonder around in hopes of finding her. They entered her bedroom at last and found her, sitting on her bed reading a long book.

"Buffy!" Dawn burst out. "What are you doing here?"

Buffy looked up with a confused face. "I live here. What are you doing here, and who are you?"

With that they all stood in shock.

Buffy then started to talk again "Dawn are these your new friends?"

"What?" Dawn replied in a state of confusion "Buffy, these are your friends too."

"Well I guess they could be if I get to know them a little more. Did you ask mom if you could bring them over?"

"What? Mom? Wait she's here but I thought-"

Willow then interrupted "Dawn, this is her mind apparently she doesn't want to remember us and she has your mom here for comfort, or something. She probably doesn't want to remember all the bad that went on in real life."

"Well hello honey," Joyce commented making them all jump, "Are these your new friends? Are they staying for dinner?"

Willow then whispered in Dawn's ear "Just go with it they don't know what's going on."

"Well, uh, yeah I guess." Dawn replied to her mother. Then Joyce left the room and trailed down to the kitchen.

"Now that she is gone are we going to put B's mind back together?" Faith asked "Cause you know if she doesn't come the easy way, we could always kick some sense into her." She then gestured a punching motion to her jaw so they knew what she ment.

"NO, there is not going to be any beating up of my sister." Dawn announced.

"Um, if you guys aren't here to talk to me, I'm Dawn can show you the way to her room. I was quite happy reading my book before you came along." Buffy stated.

"Uh, Buffy, it's me Willow, do you remember who I am?"

"I'm sorry no."

"Do you know where you are?"

"I told you, I'm at my house."

"Well do you mind coming outside and taking a walk with us?"

"Uh, I'm Not…..Sure. But not too long cause, well, I'm not one that likes the dark."

"But it's o.k. I mean with you slayer abilities you should be ju-"

"I'm sorry, my what, slayer abilities?"

"Yeah you know, one who is girl by day, slayer, and demon fighting by night?"

"I'm sorry I don't know. Did you say demon fighting? What kind of people are you? First you ask me you be friends with you when I don't even know who you are, then you go and tell me to fight 'demons'. Are you crazy or something?"

"Buffy we just-"

"NO, get out of my room before I get mom."

With that they left with worried looks on there faces.

Xander was the first to talk "What are we going to do, she obviously doesn't know who she is?"

"We just got to try and convince her she is the slayer" Willow commented back.

Dawn then started talking "I have an idea, Buffy seems to know I'm her sister, but she doesn't know who you guys are. I guess I could take her out patrolling; or a walk as she might put it. Then I could lead her to a vampire or two, and if her fighting skills are good and she wins then I could try and convince her to know that she is the actual slayer."

"Good idea Dawnie, but what about us, what are we going to do when your with her." Xander asked.

"I think that you guys could quietly follow us for if it doesn't work and we need back up."

Then the door opened and a familiar voice ran through the halls. "Hey pet. I'm here."

"Whoa, Spike is in this dream?" Xander remarked. "But I thought Buffy hated Spike?"

Willow noted, "Yeah a couple of years ago, not now, I think it is something more."

Then all of a sudden, they saw the unexpected, Buffy ran from her room to straight into Spike's waiting arms and gave him a full on passionate kiss. The kiss lasted for quite a while and the gang then noticed something, it was still day out.

"But how?" Xander questioned.

"I think I just figured out what is going on," Willow blurted, "this is how Buffy wanted her life, to be normal, without demons, vampire, and the forces of darkness. She loved Spike and wanted to be with him, human, away from evil. She also didn't want her mom gone, she missed her. Then there's the whole not going out at night, because of what lies there; evil. A-"

Xander interrupted, "But what about us her friends?" With that said another whirl of wind swept beneath there feet and they were now somewhere else. "Now where are we?"

The place was dark and misty, filled with damp grass and dead trees. The place looked to be the cemetery.

In the distance, they saw Buffy attacking a couple of vampires and some demons. The gang then rushed over to her to help her fight some of very unhappy evil.

When they were done Willow then asked, "Uh, Buffy? Do you remember who we are?"

She responded "Of coarse I do, why wouldn't I? Oh no did you do one of your spells again?"

Xander then whispered in Willows ear "Well now that she knows who we are we can probably talk some sense into her."

Willow nodded in agreement "Buffy, this isn't you, this is your mind."

"I know"

"Wait you know, how do you know?"

"Uh, hello I'm pretty sure that if this wasn't my mind Spike wouldn't be here. He is dead, but now here."

Then the gang made a small circle and started whispering so Buffy couldn't hear.

Willow was the first to speak up, "I think I know what is going on, Buffy doesn't want to leave Spike. And the other mind illusion was because she knows some of us don't except Spike." Xander then gave Willow an evil glare as he knew she was talking about him. "I'm just saying here she can imagine us excepting him when in the real world we don't"

Faith then spoke up "But B seems to know he is not in the real world, and if she knows that it is going to be harder to force her into coming back."

"Well then we will just have to convince her that we need her."

Then they all turned around towards Buffy and again Willow was the first to speak up, "Buffy we know it is hard to leave him behind but you have to move on, leave him, this is just you imagination. It is not the real thing; in the real world, we need you. Spike may be gone, but you still have us. Just please some back."


	4. It's Spike's'

**Chapter 4:**

Tears welled up in Buffy's mind as she tried to determine which life was better. "But, if I go, then it means he is really gone."

"We know, but we will do whatever we can to be there for you, and this time we won't kick you out when things get bad."

"Fine, I'll be there in a minute."

"But don't you need a spell to get back? I'm not so sure you're the spell kind of girl, Buff." Xander stated.

"Xander, this is my mind, I'm pretty sure I can leave it without a spell." Buffy snapped back trying not to be rude.

"O.K. so we will see you in a few." Willow then chanted a few return words and the gang left, leaving Buffy behind.

When they got back they all made sure they were in the right surroundings. Willow then checked the time to see how long it was since they left. To her surprise, they were only gone for three seconds. Willow then unlocked the door so if any doctors came they could get in. Within seconds of their return so did Buffy. It was not until they heard crying that they even knew she was awake. They all rushed over to her and gave her hugs for comfort and kisses on the top of her head.

Tears kept slithering down her checks until she had no more, it was then that the gang decide to let go of her and give her some room to breathe.

Xander was the first to speak up this time, "So Buff, you really loved the guy?"

He then earned a slap in the arm from all the girls, to his mind it was just a girl thing.

About 30 minutes later and they already had Buffy checked out of the hospital. On the car ride home, the scoobies talked to one another while Buffy sat in the back try to embrace the good times she had with Spike.

When they arrived to the hotel slayers were scattered around trying to find something interesting to do. Robin Wood was in the back snacking on an apple while listening to what seemed like a very boring conversation with Andrew.

When the gang entered through the stained glass doors to the entrance, all eyes turned to Buffy. Buffy saw the stares and was sure that her face was as red a as cherry.

"Hey Buff," Xander started "Why don't you go get changed into something a little more comfortable, we weren't planning on going anywhere today. So I just thought you didn't need to be in some tight clothes."

With that said Buffy made her way through the halls and stairs until she reached her assigned room. The hotel manager got a call that they were coming and arranged rooms and found some clothes a couple of days ago.

When she entered, the room had two beds, a dresser, a mini refrigerator, and a medium size TV. She headed to the dresser and did not find much but about four shirts, two sweat pant, three jeans, and three tank tops. Buffy threw on the a pair of loosely old jeans and a small red tank top.

When she came back downstairs the gang had made and effort to start a made up game, but they were having troubles agreeing on the rules and direction the game should go. Some thought that they should do a remake of truth or dare. While others wanted to do a remake of spin the bottle. Finally the decided to combine them both and play 'Spin Truth or Dare'.

"Hey Buff, want to tag along?" Xander asked while giving his best impression of a puppy dog look.

"I don't know, I think I will sit this one out." She replied.

When Xander went back they started and laughed and looked they were having a good time. In the meantime, Buffy kept thinking about Spike. She finally decided to do the impossible to bring him back. She was going to call on the Powers That Be.

She managed her way out b telling them she just need fresh air and was going for a walk. When she got to the doors the opened to the answers she needed she toke a deep breathe and managed to grip the door and open it.

When she entered a man and a woman were standing in her path.

"We know why you are here." The woman spoke in a gentle voice.

"You have come to bring back the love of our life." The man whispered. "You think he wasn't suppose to die."

As they spoke Buffy's mind filled with questions on how they knew what she was saying.

The woman spoke next, "We will grant your wish, on one condition. You must go through a test. We will visit your mind and see the past, present, and future. Then we will decide what is best."

When she finished so did the test.

This time the man started, "We have seen it, your past, present, and future. We will grant your wish, along with a little more. It's Spike's, so don't feel disappointed."

Buffy was about to ask 'what was Spike's' but the next thing she knew she was back at home; her real home, the home in Sunnydale. When she woke up, next to her lied Spike.

"Mornin' Pet" Spike yawned. "Sleep well, I mean with the whole morning sickness and all" With that Spike put a hand over Buffy's stomach and it was then that she knew what the Powers that Be meant by 'It was Spike's'.

She was Pregnant.

**The End**

_**A/N: O.K. so it was like the worst story ever, but tell me what you think. PLEASE. **_


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